How does your perception differ from your reality?

How does your perception differ from your reality?

Everyone has perceptions associated with them. One person is perceived as trustworthy, while another is arrogant and a third is hardworking. Perception is only the part of your reality which stands out. Almost all humans are like this iceberg with the large reality being under water and the tip being their perception. In my opinion, most people are not really clear what part of their iceberg is showing above the surface and hence what is their perception in society. I’ll take 3 examples from my professional career to illustrate:

Rohit (names changed) was a project manager who worked with me. He was extremely hardworking. He used to be on calls till past midnight, yet make sure he attended the Global All Hands at 6 am next day and reach office on time by 9 am. In front of the customer he was always polite. Never did he utter a harsh word to a customer, most of the time he never refused anything that the customer asked for even if it meant burning the midnight oil for him and his team. On the inside though he was unhappy. Probably all of this toiling was taking a toll on his health and his personal life. Often in personal conversations, he would complain a lot. Because he would criticize and ridicule certain things in the organization, he was often popular with some colleagues who also joined him in this ridicule. This popularity encouraged him to be more negative and critical of things in the organization and in the bid to get more popular he sometimes went overboard. Through my personal conversations with him, I knew he didn’t really feel all that negative about the organization but since it had become ‘fashionable’ and ‘rewarding’ to critique, he continued doing so and it also was some kind of an outlet for his internal unhappiness. All of this led to a negative perception though. Word got around about some of his statements and actions and slowly but surely a perception was built that Rohit is not one who will stick up for the organization or one who could be counted on to play a leadership role. All his hard work and dedication was overshadowed in the process. How much do you think Rohit was aware of this building perception of his and the impact it had on his growth in the organization?

My second example is of Parul and Seema who both joined an organization around the same time as data analysts. Parul was a little more outspoken and was generally the voice whenever it came to presenting findings that both of them worked on. Seema was very strong with her data analysis. Many a time she would be more sound with the facts and countering any intelligent questions that may be asked in their presentations. When she did speak she spoke well, but for whatever reason she would let Parul take the front seat when it came to presentation time. Gradually, Parul gained a reputation of being a good speaker and when there came the opportunity to send one of the two to the client site, Parul was picked first because she was perceived to be a better presenter. In reality, both of them were equally good at presenting which was later proven. Did Seema know that by her little action of being withdrawn at presentation time, she would lose the potential opportunity to travel abroad first?

Raj was the new head of the offshore center. In reality, he cared a lot for his people and tried to get the best out of them. In an attempt to win their trust he went out of his way to personally connect with them and tried to individually solve their problems or meet their aspirations. He felt that by doing so he would gain quick acceptance of his subordinates in his new position and thus be able to move the organization as he wished. Naturally, he wasn’t able to fulfill everything that he had promised to individuals. He also made few mistakes along the way of giving reassurances without knowing the whole picture. The perception that began to get created of him was that he was just full of false promises and really was not someone who could lead this team. His direct reports didn’t respect him anymore and his true intention of doing good for people got buried somewhere deep amidst handing all the misconceptions that got created about him. Was Raj able to understand where he had failed?

Our perception is a result of many many little actions we take and different statements we make during the course of our life. More often than not we never really know all the perceptions that exist about us. Only if we knew them, would we be able to think back and analyze what behaviors or actions of ours could be causing certain perceptions to be generated and we could course correct in time before things go out of hand. In almost every workplace, perceptions exist and significantly influence the decision making at every level. Perceptions also change over time and need to be tracked to measure how we appear in the eyes of others. Find out your perception at your workplace and see how much it matches with your reality.

WeSay — What Everybody Says About You is an interesting social platform that helps you find out the perceptions that exist for you at your workplace or society in general.